ranting and ranting

kenapa jadi manusia tak pernah puas???
getting frustrated over my life..i supposed for age 23 my life start getting stable but its not.. i really hate mayB cause kelalaian my self, sering melupakan tuhan how life mahu diberkati n diredhai. still unemployed after 4 month convo its like i'm not putting any effort to apply for any jobs, sumtym i really feels i had it enuf but keep remembering my self my is not juz 4 my self. dats for career..another thinggy is bout relationship.ummm sumtimes wen i'm alone it juz me feel wanna settledown but heck i dun have anythg 4 dat to b true > no candidate, no income, not enuf ilmu ddada utk jd wife n bkal ibu, so it make relationship impossible rite now..i really hate my self too ramai kawan lelaki, i know it wrong to went out and touching wif ajnabi guy yet i still go..rendah nye iman..my cloth i know it revealing yet still wear it. i really wish to berubah but yet i dunno y i can't..sesungguhnya kecintaan ak kepada dunia terlalu banyak berbanding cinta akan Allah.rasa berdosanya diri. doa ku agar diberikan ak hidayah untuk berubah. if possible i want my jodoh wif guy dat can show and guide me to the right way of life. but den people say lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik...but i'm not i juz hopeless girl dat too mush weekness..i wanna b gud muslimah..gud daughter..gud wife..gud mother insyallah. Ya Allah kurnia kan la aku lelaki yang mampu membimbingku, ikhlas mengasihiku kerana mu ya allah dan mampu menerima aku apa adanya